Sunday, May 5, 2019

Put Down the Dragons and Grab the Quill

Finding it hard to close my games and open writing apps.

It's easy to tell myself I'll just play for a "few minutes" before doing other, more grown-up things... But we all know a few minutes is bull and most of the truly engrossing games being marketed to the public aren't meant for only a few minutes of play. They're designed to suck you in for hours.

Not that I'm complaining... they're perfect for escaping reality and that's one of my favorite things.

Still, this computer wasn't meant to be used for gaming. I've got a phone for that. What? You use yours for calls? 

Amateurs.

All the anxiety about writing again and about making this a new (again) habit is pointless. Now the hard copies of the old blogs have been found I can remind myself it read like aimless babbling until I found my footing then too. It's neither necessary nor likely to sit down after several years and write a breathtaking essay. When you don't use a skill for many years, it takes a bit to get it back. No, you never forget how to ride a bike but most people, after not doing it for years, are pretty freaking wobbly when they first get back on two wheels. 

Telling myself "I'll do it when it's not so intimidating" is also pretty freaking pointless... if not the single biggest lie I ever tell myself. Waiting until I'm not afraid or anxious is permission to avoid things in perpetuity.

Which, seem like a great idea until the avoidance itself is a source of anxiety. Having dropped myself into this chasm between a rock and hard place, it's time to decide what I'm going to do to get out.




Let's hope I can skip the part about cutting off my own arm.


1 comment:

  1. I can relate. I'm struggling to get back into blogging, journaling, and writing, myself.

    ReplyDelete

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