Monday, January 20, 2014

Now You Can Schedule the Intervention... Please

I know people who love their Snuggies.

I couldn't do it but respect the cuddly warmth provided by this sleeved blanket. I've tried wearing my robe backwards... but once you get past the screams of the children (who wears clothes under a robe?) it's not the same. Robes have high collars that obstruct your face when worn backwards. What's the point if you can't see the TV or have to rebreathe your own morning breath?

So I get the convenience of a Snuggie, especially in a climate not so near tropical as ours. But there are products sold on television that usually inspire me to wonder what idiot would buy such a ridiculous product?

Then I had a really bad day. Followed by a really bad night. Followed by a family meeting which might have been less painful and anxious if we'd poked each other with sharp sticks. Followed by the semi-annual snot-cry fest that's been over due by weeks.

I'm wiped. I don't want to be vertical, much less functioning.

The post-apocalyptic-cry hangover is worse than any alcohol induced hangover I've ever experienced. All the same wonderful symptoms without the fun stories, like when I tried to do a tequila fueled back flip in a friend's front yard. (That was EPIC)

If you're going to feel this lousy and beaten up, you should at least have a cool story to look back on.

So here I am, lying in bed, pajama clad and wallowing in freakish misery... Okay, just feeling crappy, when I thought "The boys have friends over. I might have to make an appearance. I should wear clothes but then I'd have to change back into jammie pants to go back to bed."

And suddenly, Pajama Jeans made sense.
Yes, these gawd awful things

And that's when I realized... the edge has been found and I've apparently taken the leap without a rope.

I want pajama jeans so I can wear jeans and still stay in bed if the day calls for it.

The good news is, we're broke so there will be no impulse buy.

But the thought is there.

I just want you to know, if you do call 911, I'll thank you for it one day. I promise.

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