Wednesday, January 19, 2011

At a Loss

Received a message tonight from the mother of the family our favorite schizophrenic has attached to recently. She and I are planning to sit down over coffee and talk, I hope by the weekend.

What a year ago was a somewhat comical but frustrating young man has become a person in full hallucinations with an attitude toward women (all scripturally based, of course) that makes it clear he's violence waiting to happen.

I don't know what, if anything, can be done to intervene before someone gets hurt... especially my friend and her family.

Can't quite capture the feelings that come from understanding the depth to which he believes his delusions, his desperation and fear... while also understanding the damage he could do to himself or someone else if he keeps barreling down the road he's on.

He's not asking for help. He doesn't want anymore 'deceivers' in his life... but I don't know that I could live with myself if he blows and it could have been prevented.

Going to pray, go to bed and try to lay this down... Put my friends and Tim in God's hands and accept I'm powerless to change anything tonight by worrying. Maybe nothing can be done for him right now anyway... but I can be a friend to those his illness is affecting and, I hope, offer support and strength as they seek to do the right thing.


  1. thank you.
    it's funny... when i made the choice to lay down my resentment, it was almost as if my heart instantly broke for him.
    I'm not fool enough to ever let him in my house or near my family again... but if there's any way to help him find his way back to sanity... I want to see it happen.
    There's almost a relief in actually crying for him...the walls around my heart are finally coming down again.
    Now to keep a balance. *shakes head* it's a never ending juggling act, isn't it?

  2. If anyone knows how to handle this it's you! (PS. this is Jessee)

  3. *hug*

    And Marisa, your comment above rings oh so true in my own ears right now.


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